Let’s talk about balance. Balance has been a critical component on my wellness journey thus far and the holidays brought a stark reminder to the importance of this mantra.
In my many, many years of yo-yo dieting, restriction and deprivation almost always inevitably swung the pendulum the other way to indulgence shortly thereafter and vice versa. Periods of indulgence would lead to shame, frustration, and self-punishment in the form of restriction and deprivation. And so, the unhealthy pattern would continue and cycle.
I never really knew that there was another option and if there was, I certainly didn’t know how to practice it. Sound familiar? Rhetorical question because I am well aware I am not alone.
So what is balance and how did I discover it? Notice I am not saying “perfect” it. Goodness no. I am an imperfect work in progress because I am human.
I always knew “all or nothing” thinking was detrimental for me. Challenges and timelines in regards to weight loss inevitably left me frustrated, saying screw this and grabbing the nearest crappy food I could find. Because if I couldn’t be perfect, it wasn’t worth trying. Darn you perfectionism (she says while shaking her fist angrily!)
Over this past year, however,I have developed a mindfulness and self-compassion practice. Stick with me here. I am a behavior analyst. I believe in science and data. If you have not heard, the data is there for both of these practices. Practicing mindfulness and developing a meditation practice will not make you… well, whatever stereotypical visions you might have of it. Just ask my husband, his first reaction was to imitate Rafiki meditating while chanting “ommmmm.” Thanks honey. Now, meditation is part of his daily morning routine and he is thankful for me introducing it into his life. Self-compassion will not make you lazy or weak. In fact, just the opposite. Mindfulness and self-compassion taught me how to add a pause into my decisions and give me grace for my inherent human imperfections. They allowed me to look at each moment as a choice. A choice where I could either move towards my values or away from them. (Any ACT enthusiasts in the house?) A choice where I could choose to beat myself up for a “bad” choice (since when did food become a moral conversation?) or to say, you are human and this does not define you. Mindfulness and self-compassion helped me to practice balance. And in that balance I was able to get away from “I’ll start again Monday.” In that balance I was able to see the indulgence of the holidays as: enjoying food and family time. Although the indulgence did bring my body moments of “what are you doing to me?”, my mindset has shifted so much this past year that nothing about my behavior signified to me I was “falling off the wagon” or “failing” in any way. After all, there are no such things as failures, only learning opportunities (thanks Coach Clint!). This mindset shift has served me well thus far in my journey. I indulged and although I enjoyed myself, I remembered just how much better I feel when I fuel my body properly and treat it with the respect it deserves.
So, if you find yourself swinging back and forth between deprivation or indulgence, please remember there is another, better, choice: balance.
Until next time, Be Well!
