While this topic is applicable to literally everyone, I will be highlighting those of us in the world of education. Wherever you see words like teacher, education, or school please feel free to insert whatever appropriate term fits your situation!
Many of us create “New Year’s Resolutions” every January 1st after deep reflection on our previous year and consideration of what we hope for the year to come. While I am definitely among those January 1st “new year new me” folk, I also have that time of contemplation at the start of every school year. The start of each school year comes with a myriad of emotions: excitement for the year to come and grief of the ending of summer.
Let’s dive into that last one a bit more. I have recently reflected on the phrase, “we don’t all have the same 24 hours.” That is slap you in your face true. I definitely don’t have the same 24 hours as a mother with children. I don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed a baby, or take the kids to this practice or that play date. I don’t have to coordinate schedules with my husband or the neighbors for carpool. I also don’t have the same 24 hours as an independently wealthy person who has a personal chef and driver for that matter!
But for the sake of this conversation, starting Monday I won’t have the same 24 hours during the week that I had in the summer. I think this is one of the reasons teachers feel that sense of loss and grief as summer comes to an end. No matter how I look at it, or what self-care I implement, it is still not feasible for me to have those same 24 hours as my summer self. So… what do I do about that??
Reflection. Let’s ask ourselves “What was my favorite part of those summer moments?” I recently posed that question to the Wellness Committee at my district and some of the responses included: spending more time outside, playing with the kids more, traveling, spending time with friends, relaxing, reading, engaging in hobbies, etc. I then followed up by asking, “how can you take parts of those favorite moments into the school year?” Again, don’t get me wrong, it won’t be the same. It won’t. I will not be able to wake up at 7:00 am, walk my dog, workout, paddleboard, read, etc. all before lunch. BUT, I can still find moments to get outside more during the day. To make that a priority. I can take a walk before I leave for work and I can make sure that I get outside and walk during my lunch break. I can focus on a new nightly routine and read for 5 minutes before bed. If I can do more great, if not I am still prioritizing doing something that brought me joy during those summer hours I had. You see it isn’t just the amount of time we were able to spend engaging in all of those activities, it was what those activities brought us. We can still benefit from engaging in those activities even if it means we can’t do them for as long or as frequently as we were able to. So, take a moment to pause and ask yourself, what is ONE thing I can do this week that brings me the joy that it did during my summer 24 hours?
One of the most important practices we can implement to ensure we actually have and take the time to do these things is to set boundaries. I do not want to downplay the importance of self-care and in fact setting (and maintaining) boundaries IS self-care, but I believe it is so critical it deserves to be separated from the often overlooked and fluffed concept of self-care. I prioritize some sort of self-care every day. I get outside. I go for walks. I meditate. I journal. I practice gratitude. I eat well. I stretch. I lift weights. I drink water. I get 7-8 hours of sleep. Yet, consistent implementation of these self-care strategies would not be possible without setting boundaries.
Here are some tips (tangible strategies) and words of encouragement to help you set boundaries this school year:
- Shut it down. Your phone. Your email. Literally turn it off. Here is how to set up Do Not Disturb on your phone (while still having the peace of mind that certain people can still get a hold of you in an emergency). Make your hours sacred. Untouchable. Whether that is family time or alone time, those hours are YOURS. I do not expect anyone to go from “being accessible” all day every day to shutting everything down at 3:15 every day. Let’s be realistic. There will be times/days that we need to bring work home, but those days MUST (not even should – MUST) be the exception not the rule. If you must start off with one day a week where you set as your untouchable day. No work will be brought home on that day, no emails will be read or addressed. No texts or phone calls work related of any nature. Once you have mastered and reaped the benefits of that day, add another. And another! And another!! And by the way, your weekends… those are YOURS too! IF you must work on the weekend make it short and make it rare. Replace working on the weekends with a hobby you haven’t touched in a while!
- Schedule Send. Set the expectations for both parents and coworkers that you do not respond outside of set hours. Even if it is in my best mental health interest to reply to an email outside of my work hours, the receiver of the email does not have to know that. Let’s stop celebrating the overworking culture and start celebrating and modeling boundary setting. I may respond to an email at 7:00pm because I set a working window of 6:00-7:00 one night, but I will select the “schedule send” option on the email and have it delivered the next morning. I get to accomplish something on my to do list and I maintain the healthy boundary that I do not work past 4:00.
- Use technology. Set reminders on your phone to eat lunch, to stand up and move, to take a breath. While technology can send us down a rabbit hole to an unhealthy level, we can also use it to our advantage!
- Say NO. If the “extra” being asked of you is not something you enjoy or are passionate about AND it will bring you extra stress… say NO. And guess what… it will be OK! However, if it is something that brings you joy, are excited about, and want to collaborate with other teachers on, then absolutely go for it! There is a trending phrase on social media about the concept of “quiet quitting.” I don’t believe boundary setting is quiet quitting of any sort. Quitting to me has a general negative connotation and there is nothing about setting and maintaining boundaries that is negative in my opinion. If you do not set the boundaries now, you will sacrifice your health and your gift and THAT to me is the real tragedy.
- Advocate for yourself. Ask for help if you need it. I can honestly say that every time I have stood up for myself and asked for help, I have received it. I used to be too proud for that. I used to say yes to literally everything. I wanted to go above and beyond. To be the best. Then I got burned out to the point I was ready to quit mid year. A concept I never fathomed before my burn out. I value my health and wellbeing far more than any job I could ever have. Even a job I love (most of the time!) So, I stopped. Took a mental health day and asked/(borderline demanded) for help. You are worth your health. You deserve your wellness. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need!
So, as we enter this 2022-2023 school year, I encourage you to set some “School Year’s Resolutions.” and I encourage those resolutions to be focused on YOUR well-being. Our job as educators requires us to be the best for our students and we cannot be there for our students if we are not taking care of ourselves. What are you going to do for YOU this year? What boundaries do you plan on setting? Do you have any other ideas you would add to the list?
As always. Take Care. Be Well.
